Household Harmony

I currently have three dogs, it feels like five if you take into account how huge Elvis is.   Many of us manage multi-dog homes and sometimes the furry siblings just don't get along perfectly as we would like.  It's really quite reasonable for beings to not get along 100% of the time, but they can learn to be tolerable most of the time, and civil all the time.

Elvis kindly tolerates a young Nestle

 
When dogs misbehave it is difficult to curb our own reactivity.  We get embarrassed, angry, frustrated.  Our blood pressure goes up, heart rate increases, muscles, diaphragm and vocal cords tense.   Basically, we get pretty wired up one way or another.  In essence, this reactivity actually compounds the problem rather than alleviating it.   A dogs way of being in a stable and nurturing environment is pretty harmonious and peaceful, so when a dog reacts to something and then we react, our reactivity affirms (to the dog) that their reaction is well founded because we got upset *WITH THEM*.   For example,  a family member comes home from work and the dogs rush the door, bark like crazy and generally go nuts.   The person already at home reacts and gets wired up over all this crazy commotion.  The incoming person shouts at the dogs to settle down and is wired up as well.  Over time, when this event is anticipated, the humans become tense and prepare for upheaval .... and so does the dog.    It's a mess of a situation that's probably even worse when guests come calling..... and we taught them this.  "People come inside and it's time to get wired up",  is precisely how the dog sees it.   Fido is doing his job.  In TTouch we say, "change you and you change the dog".

As the higher being, we shouldn't have to deal with this, right?  It should be easier.  And, it can be!   We just need to approach the issue with a different mind set and intention.  The huge factor is the energy we bring to the situation.  When we come from a place of calm authority, the dog will reflect this.   When we are as reactive as our dog, well... that's fuel for the fire, not a quenching drench.   How do we find our inner calm?  Here's an extreme example:

At the TN/NC state line on Hwy. 129, "The Dragon" in 2006

 When I was cycling hundreds of miles a week, I encountered a LOT of dogs and 95% of them fell into 'prey drive' behavior and would come after me as I came roaring by at speeds upwards of 17 to 30 miles an hour.  You know.... you really don't want to crash at those speeds!  So, staying safe with a dog barreling down on you is an issue that needs immediate resolution for the safety of all involved.   No second chances, whatever is going to happen must work.    Even though I'm a healing/harmless being, I don't project this soft energy at a dog who's running my ass down because you know what?  It's not going to work!   Calm, positive energy works when meeting a dog on foot, but not at speed (that prey drive thing).  .... Although I'd never dream of actually harming another being, it is strong, determined, deadly energy that I project in this situation.  As a higher being I could (in theory only) rip the animal apart and *this* is the energy and intention I send to the dog.  Instead of being "the hunted", I became "the hunter", a calm, lethal being that IS coming at the dog with the intention of ripping it limb from limb.   This kind of calm, dangerous energy that comes from the core of the gut without fear, and without reservation is the kind of energy that works wonders to diffuse a reactive situation.  A dog can pick up this energy from 15 yards away.  You *ARE* the higher being.   When dogs are having a fuss, this sort of predatory, calm methodical way of dealing with it can be very effective and certainly give you an upper hand.  .... Basically a sniper isn't thinking about fluffy cupcakes when they take aim.  It takes mental intention to create the desired outcome.   Mental intention is the key.  One who worries about falling, will.  One who concentrates on success, succeeds.

As I mentioned, my mental intention when cycling is an extreme example of how to project energy to affect the dog.  Most of us don't encounter this fast-paced "do or die" situation with dogs and bicycles and high speed decision making.   Hopefully you get my point on how much the mind and intention can influence a dogs behavior. 

In addition to how you think and what you project in a situation you can also affect the behavior on a cellular level with TTouch.   TTouch is a great promoter of mental and emotional balance in animals and a house with several dogs will find an increase in harmony if all dogs receive TTouch, rather than the bitchy dog alone.   An example is my house of three dogs.  When the Uberhound was diagnosed with diabetes his body chemistry changed and the other two became quite bitchy which would easily escalate into fuss-fights (not really full blown fights).   As mentioned earlier, being reactive doesn't really work.  If a dog reacts and then we react, the dog takes our reactivity as a sort of agreement rather than a correction.  You've "joined forces" rather than telling him to "cut it out!".   Hence the key to diffusing the situation is to remain calm.  Breath.  Find that core of "higher being" calm in your gut.

Being "the calm" in a doggie storm does wonders.  What once was a house of three dogs storming my husband upon his coming home, has turned into three calm, happy dogs who greet him without the barking and uncontrolled behavior.   TTouch is the foundation, intention helps it to happen.

Why did my two dogs become reactive towards an otherwise friendly, harmless dog?   Because of a chemistry change.  Every dog receives daily TTouch sessions and calm intention assistance when reactivity occurs.  Finding my inner calm and combining that with TTouch has resulted in a definite increase in harmony amongst my canine family.   Jazz was the most negative towards Elvis (the diabetic uberhound) by showing her teeth, snapping, growling and lunging at him.   This simply wasn't appreciative nor necessary behavior!   Jazz receives regular TTouch mouthwork, ear work and general body work,  and Elvis receives equally targeted TTouch for relieving his own tension patterns in his feet, croup, tail and hindquarters.  Both receive TTouch and verbal reward when bidding for my attention with no more negative behavior between the two.   Both dogs need validation of their worth and love from the human they're seeking attention from.  The results have been great.  The two are not close by any means, but they are civil and that's all I ask. 

Nestle Kindly tolerates an inquisitive Elvis

With my own canine family, I rarely need to discipline or give warning, but when I do, I reach into my inner ape to deliver a warning sound.  ....You know, as humans we do not growl.  Dogs growl.  Cats growl.  Humans and apes grunt, not growl.  So why do we try to imitate something we don't naturally do.... and why do we expect it to work?   It may be speaking the dogs language, but it's not *our* language.  A growl comes from the chest and no matter how well we try, it's an unnatural noise to our species.  A grunt comes from the diaphragm, is much deeper, lower and is a very natural sound to the human species.  It is, in essence, more convincing because it's real!  So, my dogs get a grunt for major infractions.  Because they know that's "it", they comply right away and are rewarded for it.   Pretty easy, everybody is happy and remains so.   But, what if the grunt is ignored?   Well, then, I calmly walk over and push the dog and grunt again.  Many times the dog rolls in his/her back and begs for forgiveness.  I stare deep into their face and grunt again then release and walk away.   As I walk away, I reclaim the joy in my being because somebody is going to be right behind me to make peace and it's then that we rejoice and deliver calm praise.  It's important to the dog for there to be no hard feelings, so it's important for the human to recover quickly. 

For lesser infractions I use a sort of snake/hiss noise.  Just enough to distract and divert attention to something more favorable and rewarding.  Corrections are momentary, dogs don't dwell on the issue and neither should we.  Dwelling (on the part of the dog) is a sign of lacking confidence and having more issues under the hood....so to speak.   If the hiss is ignored, the grunt comes and then there's potential for mild physical contact as mentioned above.  Not once do I let my heart rate rise, or tension to occur....this tells the dog that there *IS* something to be upset about because *WE* are obviously upset, our bodies convey it.  Remember, body language is the core communication between human and dog, don't muddy the waters by being reactive.

Just because they are dogs and we are not, doesn't dictate that *we* need to behave like them to be understood.  We as humans simply need to get in touch with our own basic wiring as it is here that communication succeeds as all other mammals have this same core of basic wiring and understanding happens at this level.    Be creative.  Be positive.  Find your happy and calm place.  You deserve to live there and your animals enjoy this part of you the best.    Modern life can be stressful but we don't need to dump it on our dogs.  They are our release, our sanity and our connection to the real word.

Jazz